Gotta Love The Babies

Me: Okay Jonathon, the virus caused you to vomit a lot and now you're dehydrated. We need to get your fluids back up to par, so we'll have to place you on an IV drip. You'll be brave and allow me to do it right?

10 year old: (bawling, tears running down face)Nooo!It's gonna hurt! Mommy, she's gonna stick me!

(After 5 mins of successfully consoling him)

Me: OK, you're brave, you're strong, it's just a little stick, then the pain goes away.

10 year old (no longer crying): OK, I'm ready

(First attempt: he flinches. Unsuccessful)

(Second attempt: he flinches again. Unsuccessful)

(On third attempt...)

10 year old: Are you new here? How come you can't get it in yet?

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Seeing Jamaican patient and 4 year old son at Ob-Gyn clinic.

Me: Okay mom, we're going to have to draw some blood to check your blood sugar level.

Patient: Okay Doc

(I get supplies, begin advancing venipuncture needle)

Patient's son: No! Don't juk mih mommy!